[Kink] Self Discovery Through Sensual FemDom

Brigit Delaney has started an Erotic Journal Challenge on her blog and when I saw her first prompt was ‘Sensuality (The Five Senses)’ I instantly knew what I want to write about. I also decided that I would approach these posts with a more journal entry style. Which means I might not endeavour to make them as informative as I would do other posts, because by and large they will be reflective of my thoughts and feelings, so I’m going to let myself be a little more haphazard with the content. If however, you see anything you would like clarification or further information on please do get in touch. 


When you tell people you are into BDSM and specifically Female Domination they almost always assume the same thing; that you’re a ballbusting bitch who isn’t happy until she’s made every man she meets cry and whimper in agony and submission. Even the submissives who do approach me, want me to be that person. They assume that all I want to do is ‘things’ to submissive men, those things usually involve denying them, hurting them and generally treating them like worthless pieces of crap.

Don’t get me wrong, I used words in the above paragraph that definitely do feature in why I love FemDom, but there is so much more to what I love about kink in general, but FemDom specifically.

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The above quote sums up what Femdom has been for me perfectly. All along there was magic around me and within me and it was just sitting and waiting for my senses to heighten so I can enjoy who it is I’ve been all along.

FemDom allows me to explore all the senses, in a way I never have before. Touch, Sight, Sound and Taste are all features of my FemDom experience. I am aware I left of smell and that is for a good reason, it is not a sense that I actually have. I can smell some things, but not many. I’d say out of 100 scents I could probably smell 10 of them. The rest of my senses are in good working order though and I definitely use them to great success.

There is a lot of sensuality in my FemDom scenes with Bakji. Much of which I didn’t know I could enjoy before I starting exploring this side of myself. I’m not a very tactile person, and as I expressed in a recent post this extends to things like eye contact too. One of the other things I never really got grips with was how dirty talk worked for me and as for taste, well surely there’s only so many things you can taste during physical intimacy right? Maybe yes, but also maybe no.

Touch

When I first starting Topping Bakji it was through Shibari which meant I had a reason to initiate physical contact and an excuse to move my hands across his body. As time went on I stopped needing rope as a tool and was able to explore the physical side of topping freely, purely because I enjoyed it. I did discover though that the way we practice bondage and also things like sensory deprivation has allowed me to experiment with new ways of touch.

I’ve never seen cock pleasuring as one of my strengths, it’s always felt very tentative with a definite sense of ‘I’m doing this wrong’, FemDom has allowed me the space to discover how I enjoy playing with cocks and to experiment with what goes down a treat and what I can maybe leave off the repertoire.

My hands have once or twice even wandered to touch myself and that was something that was pretty much a hard limit for me previously. Finding that during FemDom scenes I wanted to utilise the act of touching and pleasuring myself to tease Bakji was a bit of a shock to the system, and it took a while to go from thought to action. It’s still one aspect of touch I am definitely still exploring but I think it has a lot of potential to add lots of sexy to our scenes and be a way in which I can find some personal growth.

Sight

Indulging in my sense of sight during intimate moments has definitely been another area of development for me. Prior to topping Bakji I had either been the bottom within a kink scene or in non-kink life a sexual bottom. The idea of opening my eyes was actually pretty daunting and not at all arousing. I love to be able to close my eyes and drift into the sensations that I’m feeling, whether that’s during a kink scene or during non-kinky sexy times.

When I’m in FemDom mode though I absolutely adore seeing what is going on. I love watching the reactions I can create in someone, whether that is a look of subbiness or fully body orgasm convulsions. Witnessing someone’s experience as you play with them feels like such a wonderfully privileged position. Especially when there is trust involved to used things like bondage, gags, blindfolds etc. You’ve stripped them of their senses which enables you to indulge in yours further.

Sound

People make yummy noises when you do wicked things to them. From soft moans of pleasure through to growls of frustration from being denied something they want, there are many, many sounds I can elicit from a bottom that make my FemDom heart roar with happiness.

Another way FemDom helped me to explore sensual sounds more is encouraging me to use my own words. Without really realising I was doing it I started talking to Bakji during our FemDom scenes, as time has gone on and we have discussed things more I am now far more in control of what I say and when I say it, and it gives me immense pleasure to hear certain words leave my mouth knowing the effect they will have on him

Taste

If this was a post about all things Vulva my thoughts here would be slightly different, however, most of my FemDom journey has been with Bakji and he is a penis having person. Which leads us to the taste of cock I suppose, which I’m certainly not against, but I’m also not going to seek out. I am slightly biased towards Vulva enjoyment I’m afraid!

There are other, well one in particular, tastes that my FemDom journey has allowed me to indulge in though and it perhaps isn’t one that will pop up on everyone’s list of yummy things to lick.

The first time we ever did needle play I watched a bloody beaded on Bakji’s skin and it was hands down one of the most euphoric moments of my life. Afterwards, during our post scene chat, he mentioned that he thought I was going to lick it. I had to confess I wanted to but as we hadn’t discussed that as an option I decided to behave like a human and not a vampire. Then he said he wouldn’t have minded and I think my tastebuds did somersaults in anticipation of future sessions.

I have since done this. I’m not talking slicing skin, oozing blood and slurping away, although … er … yeah, that’s a post for another day. It’s more that when dragging a needle across his flesh I get those pretty beads of blood and licking them clean is immensely satisfying and arousing. It might also sound alarming and far from sensual to many people, but blood is by its very nature pretty important to our being alive status, tasting that essence of life is really intimate and a lot sexy.

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Looking back on my previous sexual and kink encounters I can see that all along the reason I haven’t discovered my interests sooner has never been who I am as a sexual and kinky being and more about who I convinced myself I wasn’t and more annoyingly who I let other people convince me I wasn’t.

I thought I wasn’t this enough or that enough. That I was too me to be more of what someone wanted. I talked myself out of experiences that could have been great and into experiences that were not so much, all because of what I told myself I couldn’t possibly be.

FemDom has given me the space to explore my own inner self and embracing sensuality has been a huge part of FemDom being something I have come to see as an integral part of who I am rather than a mask I put on for the occasional scene. It has also shown me that I am always capable of being exactly who I am and exactly what I want to be. I’ve got control and ownership over my sexy ass journey and Femdom gave me that, and woe betide the fucker who tries to take that away from me. 

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5 thoughts on “[Kink] Self Discovery Through Sensual FemDom”

  1. Awesome post. It’s always interesting to get a glimpse into what makes others tick, and I have to confess that this was at least part of the goal with this challenge. Sexuality is so personal and so varied, the more we discuss it and share it, the more we can build understanding, acceptance, and maybe a few new ideas for our own bucket lists.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This line though! “All along there was magic around me and within me and it was just sitting and waiting for my senses to heighten so I can enjoy who it is I’ve been all along.” ❤

    I really enjoyed the openness and thoughts of this post. It was nice to "see inside" of what makes you tick and how this experience has helped you grow both in handout of that role. Nicely done and go you!

    La-

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s an incredible, honest, beautiful piece, thank you! I love that FemDomming gives you the space to explore yourself as well as to allow Bakji to do the same.

    Blood play isn’t a central kink for us, but it is a thing we’re happy to play with. I can feel the excitement of the taste on iron on my tongue, and the look on her face when she draws blood and leans in to lick it off me… Ooft.

    Liked by 1 person

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