Brigit Delaney has started an Erotic Journal Challenge on her blog and when I saw her first prompt was ‘Sensuality (The Five Senses)’ I instantly knew what I want to write about. I also decided that I would approach these posts with a more journal entry style. Which means I might not endeavour to make them as informative as I would do other posts, because by and large they will be reflective of my thoughts and feelings, so I’m going to let myself be a little more haphazard with the content. If however, you see anything you would like clarification or further information on please do get in touch.
When you tell people you are into BDSM and specifically Female Domination they almost always assume the same thing; that you’re a ballbusting bitch who isn’t happy until she’s made every man she meets cry and whimper in agony and submission. Even the submissives who do approach me, want me to be that person. They assume that all I want to do is ‘things’ to submissive men, those things usually involve denying them, hurting them and generally treating them like worthless pieces of crap.
Don’t get me wrong, I used words in the above paragraph that definitely do feature in why I love FemDom, but there is so much more to what I love about kink in general, but FemDom specifically.
This week on Instagram someone asked if they could make an enquiry about something personal, it turned out that their question was regarding whether or not I would class myself as a ‘size queen’. I replied that no, size of the penis was not something that I prioritised in my partners. I explained that the chemistry between us and alignment of kink and sexual interests was of far more interest to me, amongst other things of course.
They continued with ‘yeah, yeah, but if all that’s in place do you have a preference for size?’ Which led to my explaining that not all my sexual partners have had penises, and in the absence of a penis I still can and do have really fulfilling sexual and kinky experiences and when a penis is present its usage is irrelevant compared to whether or not the person attached to it is a skilled and passionate lover.
I did know the rules or should I say his rules and I thought they were fucking stupid. Not least of all because they weren’t my rules, but they were still imposing on my life and spoiling my fun. I wouldn’t mind if she was saying no, because she didn’t want it, but saying no when she did want it, just made no sense to me.
Rules aside, she began to remove her clothes, leaving nothing on but her white shirt and her tights, sheer with a hint of blue, I wanted nothing more than to rip them from her body, before pushing her thighs apart and delving tongue first into her delicious, wet cunt.
I think my desire for her is a form of madness, it twists in my gut, makes my mind foggy and pushes out any sense of propriety. Which always worked very well for us, friendship and passion combining, we would spend hours talking, fucking and exploring our mutual interest in photography.
This past weekend we had two extra sets of hands to aid with our sexy fun and no matter how far along the non-monogamy journey I go, these kinds of experiences are always something I find myself reflecting on in much greater detail than I do our one-on-one experiences.
After our wonderful friends had left after their weekend with us, myself and Bakji recorded an episode of ProudToBeKinky all about what we got up to with them. Later on in the evening, someone asked Bakji on our Discord chat (for podcast listeners to chat about the show and ask questions) what the difference was for him between non-monogamy and Polyamory. I explore the answer to that question in ‘Beneath the Umbrella of Non-Monogamy’.
One of the things I always circle back round to when reflecting on non-mono experiences and when answering questions about it is friendship. When people who aren’t in the know about non-monogamous lifestyles imagine what our number one motivation is for being non-monogamous I suspect sex, and lots of it is the main reason they suspect for our deviation from monogamy.
A little while back I read a blog post that is no longer available about polyamory and swinging myths, it was a great post and it inspired me to talk about another type of alternative relationship model, non-monogamy. I wrote the article below for that blog, but later on in the week I would like to share another post about a more specific non-monogamous experience and I think this post is a perfect preface to that one, so I am taking the opportunity to share it with you now.
For me, non-monogamy is both an umbrella term and a more specific way to describe my own relationship without using a descriptor that could be a little misleading. Myself and Bakji both identify as non-monogamous, both as individuals and within the dynamic we have together.
It’s very rare I share rope images these days, despite it being the kink that helped me find my way into the kink community. These weren’t the images I was hoping to share this weekend, but a beast of cold has got the better of be and I couldn’t take the photos I was hoping to. I will save them for another day though.