[Life] Before, After & Letting Love In

I had multiple ideas for the before and after prompt. Some fictional. Some fact, some sexy, some not. Most of the ones based on personal experiences are long since past, while the after maybe still remain in my life in terms of being part of my life experience it isn’t ongoing as such. Then I was lost down a rabbit hole of music on YouTube and Spotify and I came across a song that got me thinking about before and after where the after is still very much my present and I decided that should be my post for this week.

It’s factual. It’s honest. It’s emotional. It’s lovey-dovey and it’s a lot of things I never really take the time to say, to myself or anyone else.

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[Life] Grief and Tattoos

Content Warning: Grief, Stages of Grief, Death of a Parent, Death. Please, please, please do not read this if you think it will be triggering for your own mental health in any way. It was a post that was hard to write, caused many tears and from my perspective feels very raw. No offence will be taken if you need to give this one a miss.

rainbowcircle1-150Also, I am linking this to the Wicked Wednesday link up because my inspiration to complete it was inspired by this weeks prompt and by the wonderful host of WW Marie Rebel and her posts on this subject matter. However is way over the usual WW word count, which I will send my puppy dog eyes to Marie over for forgiveness, but I think a fair warning is needed for all WW readers that it might be a long one.


Time is a healer, or so they say, I’m not sure I’ve ever been that good at finding my way through the healing process though and I have had a lot of time and chances to perfect that skill. A lot of my past upsets are sporting very well worn plasters or like poorly healed injuries they are aggravated by the smallest of knocks.

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[Community] Don’t Be Like Gollum

There’s a chance I will get shot down in flames for this post and I’m sat here weighing up the pros and cons of having my rant and I’ve decided I’m willing to lose the readers that disagree.  

Without further ado here are the points I’d like to discuss:

  • Being pretentious doesn’t improve your skill level
  • Being like Gollum with your knowledge? That sucks!
  • Assuming makes an ass out of you and, well, you!

I’m going to use rope as my example to lay out the reason behind my thinking. Make no mistake though I love rope bondage and I have had some amazing experiences within the rope community and know some truly awesome people who would cite rope as their main kink and passion in life.

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Stephen King Stole My Title …

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… I wanted to call this post ‘On Writing‘. I shan’t dwell on that though. However, if you haven’t read that particular title of Stephen King’s I highly recommend it.

Back to the post at hand and what perfect inspiration this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is for me. The blog has been quiet the last week or so. New working hours have been well and truly kicking my ass, there has been a lot of daytime snoozing to make sure my physical and mental health don’t slip. I have had to accept that for the moment the blog isn’t the most important thing in life right now. That doesn’t mean regular service won’t resume though, it will and the reason is that I love writing and when I saw the Wicked Wednesday prompt I knew it was the perfect blog post to kick start my writing again.

For me, writing has been an outlet of emotions since my teens. My first love when it came to producing writing was poetry. I can’t recall my exact age but I was around twelve I think when I read ‘Love’s Philosophy’ by Percy Bysshe Shelley. That single poem felt to me like the purest and most wonderful thing ever written. It sent me on a journey to discover a poem I loved more than that one. To this day I have never found one, that poem remains my all-time favourite. It moves something inside me everytime I read it and I never tire of it.  

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[Relationships] My Motivation for Non-Monogamy

This past weekend we had two extra sets of hands to aid with our sexy fun and no matter how far along the non-monogamy journey I go, these kinds of experiences are always something I find myself reflecting on in much greater detail than I do our one-on-one experiences.

After our wonderful friends had left after their weekend with us, myself and Bakji recorded an episode of ProudToBeKinky all about what we got up to with them. Later on in the evening, someone asked Bakji on our Discord chat (for podcast listeners to chat about the show and ask questions) what the difference was for him between non-monogamy and Polyamory. I explore the answer to that question in ‘Beneath the Umbrella of Non-Monogamy’.

One of the things I always circle back round to when reflecting on non-mono experiences and when answering questions about it is friendship. When people who aren’t in the know about non-monogamous lifestyles imagine what our number one motivation is for being non-monogamous I suspect sex, and lots of it is the main reason they suspect for our deviation from monogamy.

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[Sex] Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me!

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The questions for this week’s Food for Thought Friday are all about the 69 sex position. I don’t write much about specific sex acts, but for the sheer fact I have immense feels on the 69 position I am letting loose.

Sixty-nine or 69, also known by its French name soixante-neuf, is a group of sex positions in which two people align themselves so that each person’s mouth is near the other’s genitals, each simultaneously performing oral sex on the other. – From Google

So two of the questions poses over on Food for Thought Friday were; Is it, or has it ever been part of your regular “repertoire”? and What are your views on this particular activity? Yeah? Neah? Meh? I realised answering one would give away the answer to the other, so here goes, my thoughts on the sixty-nine position and probably the answers to both those questions.

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[Life] Me, Myself and Harry Potter

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I’m a big fan of encouraging self care in others, I think it is really important to look after both your physical and your emotional well-being. Seeing as I realise the importance of this one would think that I am excellent at my own self-care, in this case one would be wrong. I suck at self-care, I’m terrible at identifying I need some me time until I’m so desperate for it that it’s move from nice to necessary. I am trying to be better though and this means knowing what works for me and what doesn’t.

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

I like the gym and I like healthy food. Well when I say I like them, I mean it’s tough to stick to them both but oh my goodness they do make me feel so looked after. I mostly cook vegetarian and vegan dinners these days and my body feels so much better for it. I eat a wide range of food, I’m well supplemented where necessary and well versed on what is and isn’t good for me, so no need for anyone to panic that my diet isn’t satisfactory. (As happened when I mentioned vegan cooking on Twitter!)

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