I had multiple ideas for the before and after prompt. Some fictional. Some fact, some sexy, some not. Most of the ones based on personal experiences are long since past, while the after maybe still remain in my life in terms of being part of my life experience it isn’t ongoing as such. Then I was lost down a rabbit hole of music on YouTube and Spotify and I came across a song that got me thinking about before and after where the after is still very much my present and I decided that should be my post for this week.
It’s factual. It’s honest. It’s emotional. It’s lovey-dovey and it’s a lot of things I never really take the time to say, to myself or anyone else.
Featured images by Posy Churchgate and used with permission.
‘Alice! Alice! Stop this infernal daydreaming and listen to me, and while you’re at it take off those ridiculous socks!’
Alice raised her gaze slowly and looked at her husband, with a look that could not be mistaken for anything other than disdain. Her loving, adventurous Robert was long gone. His corporate job and his commitment to it being greater than to her had turned him into a dull, unloving and even worse, an unlovable man.
‘You know what Robert? I won’t take my socks off, but I will take them away from you. I’m going to bed, don’t bother following. The spare room is all yours tonight.’
I did know the rules or should I say his rules and I thought they were fucking stupid. Not least of all because they weren’t my rules, but they were still imposing on my life and spoiling my fun. I wouldn’t mind if she was saying no, because she didn’t want it, but saying no when she did want it, just made no sense to me.
Rules aside, she began to remove her clothes, leaving nothing on but her white shirt and her tights, sheer with a hint of blue, I wanted nothing more than to rip them from her body, before pushing her thighs apart and delving tongue first into her delicious, wet cunt.
I think my desire for her is a form of madness, it twists in my gut, makes my mind foggy and pushes out any sense of propriety. Which always worked very well for us, friendship and passion combining, we would spend hours talking, fucking and exploring our mutual interest in photography.
This past weekend we had two extra sets of hands to aid with our sexy fun and no matter how far along the non-monogamy journey I go, these kinds of experiences are always something I find myself reflecting on in much greater detail than I do our one-on-one experiences.
After our wonderful friends had left after their weekend with us, myself and Bakji recorded an episode of ProudToBeKinky all about what we got up to with them. Later on in the evening, someone asked Bakji on our Discord chat (for podcast listeners to chat about the show and ask questions) what the difference was for him between non-monogamy and Polyamory. I explore the answer to that question in ‘Beneath the Umbrella of Non-Monogamy’.
One of the things I always circle back round to when reflecting on non-mono experiences and when answering questions about it is friendship. When people who aren’t in the know about non-monogamous lifestyles imagine what our number one motivation is for being non-monogamous I suspect sex, and lots of it is the main reason they suspect for our deviation from monogamy.
A little while back I read a blog post that is no longer available about polyamory and swinging myths, it was a great post and it inspired me to talk about another type of alternative relationship model, non-monogamy. I wrote the article below for that blog, but later on in the week I would like to share another post about a more specific non-monogamous experience and I think this post is a perfect preface to that one, so I am taking the opportunity to share it with you now.
For me, non-monogamy is both an umbrella term and a more specific way to describe my own relationship without using a descriptor that could be a little misleading. Myself and Bakji both identify as non-monogamous, both as individuals and within the dynamic we have together.
As many of you will know I enjoy getting involved in Sinful Sunday, while it is a great place to share images and find inspiration for new ways to create my own images, every now and then it inspires a blog post too. This time it is the wonderful image from Love is a Paraphilia. I was a bit stumped for a Masturbation Monday post this week, life has got a lot going on and I think a little bit of writer’s block set in towards the end of last week. But I couldn’t stop musing on the idea of discarded Polaroids being found in an old and derelict building, so I let my mind run with it and this is what came of that inspiration.
The old manor house had always been in a state of disrepair, new owners that purchased it but never saw fit to renovate let it move into derelict territory. As it lay abandoned it was impossible not to imagine what it could once have been, what memories must lie within its walls, as I stood in front of it I recalled the experiences I had there myself before it had fallen to be the ruin it now was.
We were young, adventurous and definitely thrill seekers, we engaged in what many people would consider ‘bedroom activities’ in a myriad of places, and rarely were any of them even close to a bedroom. Even as the seasons changed, and bright summer days gave way to autumn leaves and winter frosts we could still be found cavorting outside in various states of undress exploring the most intimates parts of one another.
A question I have been asked many times with regards to being into FemDom. It’s hard to know where to begin with unraveling the myth behind this particular question, so let’s just acknowledge one thing straight away … FemDom can be sex inclusive.
The beauty of being the one in charge, whether that just in a scene or in a more extended FemDom dynamic is that you get to call the shots. (Within established parameters and respecting limits of course.) I have always known that I could include sex in my FemDom scenes, learning how to incorporate it was trickier, that however was about my personal approach, rather than about some unwritten rule of no sex for Dominant Women.
When you first venture into the kink community, whether that’s by going to a munch or by joining something like Fetlife one of the first questions you are likely to be asked, in form or other, is about how you identify in terms of a BDSM role. For many people the role or label they adopt within the kink community or within their specific dynamic is extremely important to them. It’s not just about BDSM it’s part of their identity as a person and as such it is a wonderful way in which they can express part of who they are.
Then there are people like me, who stumble into the kink scene with a vague idea of what they’re into, assume a label that compliments that and then find after a time that something doesn’t feel right. For me that label was submissive, after all I wanted to be tied up and spanked, what’s not submissive about that? In truth there is plenty about those things that aren’t submissive.
I wasn’t sure I had a Monday post in me this week, my preference is to write something I can share to Masturbation Monday and as gorgeous as this weeks prompt photo is I couldn’t seem to write anything in response to it, I think perhaps the gorgeousness of it overwhelmed me. After recently trying my hand at #friflash run by F Dot Leonora and writing a review for another blogger, I wanted to challenge myself with my blog post this week.
I was initially going to give myself a word limit, but in the end I decide to use my two Storyin12 attempts from last week to inspire me. What actually happened is that I also wrote a Storyin12 for each of last weeks prompts. Those pieces are in block quotes through the writing below and the prompt word in in bold.
Please bear with me if this doesn’t flow as well as my free formed erotica. One thing I learnt from engaging in the Smut Marathon earlier this year is that I don’t necessarily respond as well as I could to constraints placed upon my writing. That is something I would like to get better at, and I want to learn how to be more creative in my approach when certain limitations are in place.
‘You want to do that nasty thing? Love it! Let’s do it!’
The image he’d sent to me instantly caused a reaction in many parts of my body. I couldn’t remember the last time something ignited desire in me this quickly. There was a man strapped to a single bed. Bare mattress, metal bed frame, no carpet on the floor, the surroundings looking more warehouse than our house. It was clear even from the still image that the woman in the photo had been doing unspeakable things to him. She hovered above his open mouth, and it wasn’t entirely clear but I was certain she was urinating on him. We’d never done anything quite that kinky before, and I thought I should be nervous or uncertain but I was only excited and eager to explore.
My own D/s dynamic only comes into play when we engage in kinky scenes. However I stand by the message of this article regardless of whether you have an in scene dynamic only or a 24/7 Master/slave dynamic and I am prepared for the onslaught of emails telling me I am wrong, but I think it is very important for some people to hear my take on this.
Regardless of your specific D/s dynamic or the frequency of it, your submissive does not cease to be a human being, and as such they have their own thoughts, feelings and desires. While the Dominant one in the dynamic may well do a lot of the leading and decision making, again depending on your specific situation, no Dominant is all knowing. Despite the spate of ‘Dominants’ who seem to think they are just that.