I had multiple ideas for the before and after prompt. Some fictional. Some fact, some sexy, some not. Most of the ones based on personal experiences are long since past, while the after maybe still remain in my life in terms of being part of my life experience it isn’t ongoing as such. Then I was lost down a rabbit hole of music on YouTube and Spotify and I came across a song that got me thinking about before and after where the after is still very much my present and I decided that should be my post for this week.
It’s factual. It’s honest. It’s emotional. It’s lovey-dovey and it’s a lot of things I never really take the time to say, to myself or anyone else.
Brigit Delaney has started an Erotic Journal Challenge on her blog and when I saw her first prompt was ‘Sensuality (The Five Senses)’ I instantly knew what I want to write about. I also decided that I would approach these posts with a more journal entry style. Which means I might not endeavour to make them as informative as I would do other posts, because by and large they will be reflective of my thoughts and feelings, so I’m going to let myself be a little more haphazard with the content. If however, you see anything you would like clarification or further information on please do get in touch.
When you tell people you are into BDSM and specifically Female Domination they almost always assume the same thing; that you’re a ballbusting bitch who isn’t happy until she’s made every man she meets cry and whimper in agony and submission. Even the submissives who do approach me, want me to be that person. They assume that all I want to do is ‘things’ to submissive men, those things usually involve denying them, hurting them and generally treating them like worthless pieces of crap.
Don’t get me wrong, I used words in the above paragraph that definitely do feature in why I love FemDom, but there is so much more to what I love about kink in general, but FemDom specifically.
When I first saw the Kink of the Week theme I pretty much noped out of it in my mind. As a bottom, whether that is during a kink session or a getting fucked session, eye contact is definitely not my thing.
If you want me to look you in the eyes during a session where I’m the bottom you either need to wait for that to happen naturally or accept that it most likely won’t happen!
If you get off on requesting someone look you in the eye or eye contact is one of your main kinks or prerequisites for play, I am not the play partner for you.
Floss: Santa, before I explain how much do you already know?
Santa: I’ve seen your Instagram, you’re getting clothes and a bible for Christmas!
The joke is on Santa though because I love wearing clothes and I love a bible too, I could make both work for Instagram, so bring it on Santa Baby!
By Eartha Kitt’s logic, I really have been good this year … ‘Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed.’ I haven’t kissed that many fellas at all. What about folks who aren’t fella identifying you say? Well now, that’s a tale for another blog post indeed … maybe you can look forward to that in 2019!
Content Warning:Grief, Stages of Grief, Death of a Parent, Death. Please, please, please do not read this if you think it will be triggering for your own mental health in any way. It was a post that was hard to write, caused many tears and from my perspective feels very raw. No offence will be taken if you need to give this one a miss.
Also, I am linking this to the Wicked Wednesday link up because my inspiration to complete it was inspired by this weeks prompt and by the wonderful host of WW Marie Rebel and her posts on this subject matter. However is way over the usual WW word count, which I will send my puppy dog eyes to Marie over for forgiveness, but I think a fair warning is needed for all WW readers that it might be a long one.
Time is a healer, or so they say, I’m not sure I’ve ever been that good at finding my way through the healing process though and I have had a lot of time and chances to perfect that skill. A lot of my past upsets are sporting very well worn plasters or like poorly healed injuries they are aggravated by the smallest of knocks.
As many of you will know I entered the Smut Marathon 2018, which has no come to an end. We are now able to sign up for the Smut Marathon 2019 and our wonderful host Marie has confirmed that the minimum of 20 people have now signed up. It is now a case of the more the merrier. I’ll be honest and say I entered on a whim for 2018. I saw someone mention figured it might be a good way to further my writing and my blog and went for it. I had very little knowledge about what it was going to entail.
What it entailed was me writing the following pieces …
Fluid My body melts under his touch, he is the flame, I am the wax, I am fluid beneath him, I drip, drip, drip as he burns me with his desire
The Disciple The hot water cascades over his body, cleansing him as his ritual begins. Once dry he adorns himself with his symbols of submission. Reciting his mantra with every buckle he fastens. ‘I am bound to only you, I serve you with reverence and devotion.’ He is like the High Priest, called to worship at the temple of her body. I am their disciple. I bear witness to their passion, as I am baptised by the glory of their love.
That was it for me. Including titles, I wrote 112 words for the Smut Marathon. I was out after Round 2. My aim had been to make it halfway and honestly I thought I had that in the bag when it started out, which makes the saying ‘pride comes before a fall’ exceptionally relevant here. Leaving when I did though was the best thing that could have happened to me and I want to share the why of that with you and if my thinking encourages more of us to enter in 2019 then that is a bonus.