[FemDom Friday] FemDom Can Be Sex Inclusive

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‘Don’t you miss having sex?’

A question I have been asked many times with regards to being into FemDom. It’s hard to know where to begin with unraveling the myth behind this particular question, so let’s just acknowledge one thing straight away … FemDom can be sex inclusive.

The beauty of being the one in charge, whether that just in a scene or in a more extended FemDom dynamic is that you get to call the shots. (Within established parameters and respecting limits of course.) I have always known that I could include sex in my FemDom scenes, learning how to incorporate it was trickier, that however was about my personal approach, rather than about some unwritten rule of no sex for Dominant Women.

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[FemDom Friday] It’s Okay For Submissives To Have A Voice

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My own D/s dynamic only comes into play when we engage in kinky scenes. However I stand by the message of this article regardless of whether you have an in scene dynamic only or a 24/7 Master/slave dynamic and I am prepared for the onslaught of emails telling me I am wrong, but I think it is very important for some people to hear my take on this.

Regardless of your specific D/s dynamic or the frequency of it, your submissive does not cease to be a human being, and as such they have their own thoughts, feelings and desires. While the Dominant one in the dynamic may well do a lot of the leading and decision making, again depending on your specific situation, no Dominant is all knowing. Despite the spate of ‘Dominants’ who seem to think they are just that.

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[Kink] Communication: It’s Good For Ewe

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Apologies for the terrible pun of title, but I couldn’t resist when I decided to use this photo off Pixabay for my featured image. 

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One of the most recurring topics of conversation about how to do kink ‘right’ is about communication. What kinks people have and how they enjoy them is 100% down to their personal preferences, provided of course that they are engaging in them with other consenting adults. For many of us though good communication is a fundamental part of exploring kink. What ‘good’ looks like may indeed vary from person to person, and I think like myself and Bakji, your ‘good’ becomes better over time, and your old ‘good’ looks a little lacking.

Myself and Bakji have grown together in terms of improving our communication and honestly it has been one of the most rewarding parts of our sexy-friendship. Neither of us were great at face to face discussions in the early days, and that meant finding more creative ways of sharing our thoughts with each other.

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[Kink] Nurse Floss Will See You Now!

Content Warning: Contains thoughts surrounding medical play, blood play, needles and mobility aids as kink equipment.


When I first saw this weeks prompt I was going to attempt a piece of erotica based around one of the only uniforms that I’d like to involve in my own kinky fun, the more I thought on it though the more I thought I should explore the fantasy itself.

One of the main areas of kink that I am keen to explore is medical play. When I’ve mentioned this on social media many of my followers have send DM’s asking me what that even is. In a nutshell it is an umbrella term referring to a number of kinks and fetishes involving objects, practices, environments, and situations of a medical or clinical nature

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The Joy of Topping

I joined the fetish scene to explore my submissive side, so my adventures in Topping were brief and a little ill-fated. Chemistry, passion, trust and encouragement can go a long way though and those things combined with someone who is crazy hot has made Topping all of the fun.

I can’t help but smile as his breathing is restricted, just a little. It gets like that when someone is sat on your face. His body is squirming below me in frustration, and every single part of me that can feel something, is on a high. There has been more before this point, teasing and tying, kissing and caressing, moments that made the world slowly fall away. Until all I know for certain is that he exists, my focus solely on all the subtleties of his body.

Every reaction no matter how small feeds the desire he has triggered in me, every intake of breath, every moan, every gasp, the twitches, and the flinches, the stolen kisses, the sorry’s and the please’s. The adoration I feel in these moments is hard to express, when he’s bound and his senses are restricted, and his body language shifts making his submission in that moment palpable, it makes my heart soar and my knickers wet.

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A little something I might wear when Topping, if Bakji is lucky!

All his wonderful responses make me want to learn him better, so that we can delve deeper with each shared experience and our dynamic can continue to evolve, because it is quite honestly the most fun I’ve ever had. He also makes me want to be the best Top I can be, but in a way that is true to my nature. I’ve realised I don’t need to adhere to other people’s ideals, I can absolutely do this my way, and if my way is cute and kitten-ey with a side serving of feisty and that’s not your thing, then walk on by, because chances are, you’re not my thing either. His trust in being a willing, and beautifully eager, rope bunny and BDSM bottom, has given me the confidence to step outside of my comfort zone and truly enjoy and embrace another facet of myself.

I’ve loved getting to know another part of him too, watching his eyes sparkle and eagerness overflow when I mention something that involves him being subby, just gives me the warm and fuzzy’s in the best possible way, it’s also fascinating to see the difference between this and his steely-eyed, determined Domly demeanour. I’m not going to lie, both absolutely work for me, but getting to play with both is just the best.

I have also learnt a lot about myself and my kinks in the short time since I tentatively began Topping. As a bottom I struggle to articulate, even to myself what I want from a scene, but as a Top, I can envisage with the utmost clarity how I’d like a scene to pan out. It is a refreshing state of mind for me. I’ve also found that revelling in someone else’s enjoyment of certain acts, or implements, or kinks, can shine a light on just how much I actually do or don’t enjoy those things for myself.

When the kink has subsided though, and recovery mode begins, I curl into him like a kitten, for head strokes and hugs, because somehow his aftercare seems to be taking care of me. In these quiet moments, I’m still learning. Mostly because our after kink chats are random and lead to us to Wikipedia, but also because the calm, soft aftercare that follows the adrenaline rush of Toppy kink allows me to reflect and process and feel. Which is pretty handy to someone whose natural inclination is to ignore and repress.

Often, well actually always, I think of nice things to say when I’m busy freeing him from the wraps of my rope, or when I’m curled up and cosy in hug, but they inevitably get stuck, and go unsaid. As someone with a fondness for words, I am often ridiculously inept at using them. So instead I wrote this, and I hope it conveys how special and exciting I find our time together, and how very grateful I am to have him in my life.


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