[That’s My Kink] Watching Guys Fuck Guys!

Before you start you might like to read ‘That’s My Kink – An Introduction‘.

I used a random number generator to select which kink I would start my ‘That’s My Kink’ journey with and I hoped I’d get one that would ease me in slowly, I’m not entirely sure that has happened. We are also going to be covering each kink weekly for our #ProudToBeKinky Patrons which means they will get to hear Bakji’s perspective on all the kink’s I discuss and this isn’t exactly one he’s into, so this is definitely going to be fun!

First of all, let’s start with the why this ‘kink’ isn’t as straightforward as it seems. I try not to make this blog one of gender binaries and try very hard not to gender my posts unnecessarily. When it comes to this particular interest though it very often will involve two cisgendered men. However, I don’t want anyone to feel left out or unloved, so I’d like to make it clear that my queer pervy heart (and fanny) is happy to befriend and perv over all people no matter their gender identity.

Continue reading “[That’s My Kink] Watching Guys Fuck Guys!”

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[Sex] Do I need a P in my V?

This week on Instagram someone asked if they could make an enquiry about something personal, it turned out that their question was regarding whether or not I would class myself as a ‘size queen’. I replied that no, size of the penis was not something that I prioritised in my partners. I explained that the chemistry between us and alignment of kink and sexual interests was of far more interest to me, amongst other things of course.

They continued with ‘yeah, yeah, but if all that’s in place do you have a preference for size?’ Which led to my explaining that not all my sexual partners have had penises, and in the absence of a penis I still can and do have really fulfilling sexual and kinky experiences and when a penis is present its usage is irrelevant compared to whether or not the person attached to it is a skilled and passionate lover.

Continue reading “[Sex] Do I need a P in my V?”

[Erotica] I Wish I’d Taken the Photo

I wish I’d taken the photo.

He’s lying on his back, one arm at his side, the other folded under his head. The fact it is post sex means he is beautifully naked. Exactly as he should be all the time in my opinion. The gym sessions are showing, muscle definition is popping in all the right places. In all honestly I want to have the sex all over again as I look at him.

I wish I’d taken the photo.

Why is it then, if he is so glorious, that I am thinking of you?

Continue reading “[Erotica] I Wish I’d Taken the Photo”

[Life] Ten Songs That Give Me Sexy Feels

Image via Pixabay

When Bakji and I get our kink on we don’t always play to music, but when we do I love the vibe the songs I enjoy add to the atmosphere. I know a lot of people don’t enjoy playing alongside music at all, but I’m always intrigued to see what songs make the list for those of us that do. 

Get ready to feel sexy, because these are my top 10 songs (in no particular order) that get my sexy motor running. I’m going to give you 5 that get me feeling dirty, mean and extremely FemDom and 5 that slow me down, and give way to the softer feels that our D/s exchanges give me.

Sick Like Me by In This Moment

Is it sick of me
To need control of you?
Is it sick to make
You beg the way I do?

I love this song so much. It is my FemDom anthem. When I put this song on I can feel my internal FemDom pulling on her gloves and heels and getting ready for action. It is so sexy to play to as well. Just to clarify I don’t think I am ‘sick’ for being into the things I am, but if it legitimately was a sickness I would not want the cure. Other In This Moment songs on my list are Adrenalize and Whore.

Perfect Drug – Nine Inch Nails

I got my head but my head is unraveling
Can’t keep control can’t keep track of where it’s traveling
I got my heart but my heart’s no good
You’re the only one that’s understood

Not only is this song super sexy and perfect for kinky play times, there is a Fetish porn video out there with this song as it’s accompaniment. It is beyond hot. This song gives me so many sexy images in my head.  Other NIN songs on my list are Closer and Ringfinger.

Personal Jesus – Marilyn Manson

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares

Something about Marilyn Manson’s music seems to ooze eroticism for me. Esepcially when he takes a decent song and makes it so much darker and better. Personal Jesus, You’re So Vain and Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) all feature on my sexy tunes playlist.  

Pony – Ginuwine

The things I will do to you
You and your body
Every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine
Juices flowing down your thigh

I am not going to lie … I love the Magic Mike films, Channing Tatum is fucking dreamy as they come, and watching him gyrate his hips and flex his muscles gives me literal tingles in the foo area. The soundtrack to Magic Mike XXL is awesome and this is one of my favourites. For anyone who finds the objectification of male strippers or the male form offensive, you probably shouldn’t watch the video below!

Lie – Black Light Burns

These animals, they operate
On jealousy and lust
I’m taking back what was lost
And I will not be denied

Not only do I enjoy the sexiness of this song, but also the video too. Not only is it musically sexy but it has certain words in there that trigger my kinky feels when used in the right context. I’m a big fan of the whole album this song comes off and another particular favourite is Cruel Melody which also features during sexy times.

Bruises – Lewis Capaldi

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

Fair warning this song isn’t really sexy, or kinky, it’s about breaking up and missing something you had with someone. When I hear the word bruises sang so beautifully though I just go to a place of the feels.

Fall at your Feet  – Boy and Bear

And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

I think most people know the original of this by Crowded House. While I love that version, there is something about the Boy and Bear cover that just puts a totally different spin on it for me. From beginning everything about this song just screams D/s dynamic to me. Not just from a kink perspective either, this song always makes me think about the intimacy of D/s and how it has helped me build a connection with Bakji in a way I never have with anyone else.

Wicked Game – Stone Sour

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you

I have always been a huge fan of this song, and the Chris Isaak original is glorious. There are so many covers of this song, many of which are really decent versions of it. There is something about the Stone Sour version though that just makes my heart ache. I think it’s the rougher, rockier edge to it. It’s less of a ballad and more, ‘fuck, that was a wicked game’.

Never Be The Same – Camilla Cabello

Just one hit of you, I knew I’ll never be the same
It’s you, babe
And I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe

I’ve often said that FemDom gives me a high that is quite honestly addictive, and when I’m in full FemDom headspace it feels like something very palpable is running through my veins. This song reminds me of that feeling.

Starving – Hailee Steinfeld

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you
Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
By the way, by the way, you do things to my body
I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

I had no idea, none at all, that I would take to FemDom with such a fierce and passionate appreciation for everything it entails. It wasn’t until I tried it with Bakji that I finally found my feet with it, and once I did, there was no stopping me. Also there is fishnet sexiness in the video, so I’m definitely putting this in the FemDom feels pile. 

Those are some of my favourites but what are yours. I’d love to hear what your favourite sexy songs are, whether that’s for kink, sex or getting a romantic vibe on the go.


If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

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[Review] Nexus Revo Prostate Massager

When I received the email from Lovehoney to say we were receiving the Nexus Revo Slim Remote Controlled Rotating Silicone Prostate Massager in exchange for an honest review, I was delighted. I couldn’t wait to tell Bakji and he too was excited, as we both hoped this product would advance our adventures in prostate play.

IMG_6704Currently our best experience has been with the Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager, but the Nexus Revo promised so much more, and at the double the price I really hoped it would deliver.

In terms of aesthetics, both packaging and product are appealing. A storage pouch is also included, though having previously had two Nexus controllers break, I am inclined to keep this product in the box, just to be on the safe side.

My first thoughts on the Revo were that is feels lovely, the silicone is soft and smooth, and it feel like a good quality product. The vibrations felt nice and strong in my hand, and the rotating shaft felt like it might be a bit of a game changer in terms of prostate stimulation.

As with our previous Nexus product the controls are also easy to use, and charging is simple and effective. Charging time in somewhere under an hour, and play time is around 90 minutes. The added bonus for some people is that it is also waterproof, which not only makes it easy to clean, it can also be used for sexy bath time or shower adventures, which could potentially work out really well for those people who are worried about anal play ‘accidents’ but still really want to explore.

When the time came to use the Revo in a sexy way, we were all set. Bakji was restrained, in what i must admit was a really fun position, involving our suspension point, our gym bench and lots of rope.  I had lots of lube, my sexy medical gloves were on and we were ready to go. In terms of size, and ease of insertion this toy was great, it’s not overly daunting, and would likely be a nice first prostate massager based on that criteria. So in it went and with baited breath I turned the Revo on ….

…. Oh! Bakji’s reactions are not as intense as I’d anticipated. I immediately noticed that the vibrations and rotating shaft didn’t have the instant effect that some of our other vibrating butt plugs and prostate massagers tend to have. I tried a variety of approaches, leaving just the vibrations on, focus more on the rotating shaft, but all in all I just had a feeling it wasn’t blowing his mind, and it certainly didn’t make him blow his load. That was me, credit for that scenes ejaculation is all mine.

While we did use the Revo throughout our scene, my thoughts had turned from lots of excitement to slightly anticlimactic. Our scene was awesome and super sexy, but I couldn’t help but feel the Revo hadn’t enhanced it as much as I’d hoped. When discussing the product with Bakji afterwards he seconded my thoughts.

While the rotating shaft wasn’t at all unpleasant, he mostly knew it was one because he could hear it, as opposed to being able to feel it. It certainly wasn’t giving him the prostate massage we were promised.

The vibrations that stimulate the perineum are good, but don’t seem to stimulate as well as other products, and not really any better than holding one of my own vibrators against that area. Which I do often, so have a fair few memories of it working really well. The best part of the perineum vibrations was when I sat against it and used it for clitoral stimulation, which because the vibrations seem to be focused more on the out part of the product actually work really well.

We also had a bit of an issue with it staying in place, and it seemed determined to slide out, which isn’t great as the idea of something like this for us is for my hands to busy elsewhere while the prostate massager does its thing. While this does happen with a variety of anal toys, we have had great success with other, lower cost products staying put.

Unfortunately when you weigh up cost versus effectiveness this product absolutely falls short. The words ‘intense p-spot massage’ are used in the product description on Lovehoney and there really wasn’t anything intense about it at all. It was definitely pleasant, and it is far from being an awful product, it’s good, but for what it costs I really do want it to be great.

If you’re new to prostate and/or anal play, don’t want anything too powerful and haveIMG_6703.jpg £149.99 burning a hole in your pocket then by all means give this a go. To be honest though it wouldn’t be our top recommendation.


This product and others will be featuring in a future episode of #ProudToBeKinky, where myself and Bakji will be discussing some of the products we have recently used and the experiences we have had with them. If there are any products you would like to hear us discuss then please do let me know, you can also contact us if you have a product you would like to send us in exchange for an honest review.

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

[Erotica] Something Wicked This Way Comes

I can hear the rhythmic tapping of her nails, sharp enough to draw blood with the lightest touch, with a dark glossy shine seeming to emphasise their danger. She’s whispering in time to the beat of her tapping, ‘something wicked this way comes, something wicked this way comes’, over and over, the mantra that summons me.

In the darkness I keep my eyes closed, I try to will her away, to deny her the chance to entice me. I reach my hand across to the other side of the bed to feel his warmth, to keep me focused, to keep me present, as my hand finds his chest though, firm and hot beneath the icy chill of my own hand, I feel my cunt begin to tingle as my eyelids open in a flash.

I’d forgotten how beautiful she is, everything about her is dark and beguiling, apart from her skin, which seems so pale as to highlight the true depths of her darkness. Her long, glossy hair is so unnaturally black, I recall touching it once and wondering if it was coloured by all the dark wicked things she’d done. Her eyes certainly reflect the depths of depravity that make her presence so irresistible.

‘Come to me.’

Continue reading “[Erotica] Something Wicked This Way Comes”

[Life] Compersion, Trust and Brain Niggles

Image via Pixabay

Back in September I wrote ‘The Feeling When … New Things Are Awesome’, and yes I’m aware I use the word awesome far too much, but I like it, loads, so you’re stuck with it. In that writing I covered some of my thoughts on compersion, and how I’d finally experienced it in some way, which I thought I never would. I debated whether or not writing about it again was worthwhile, for fear I might repeat myself and not add anything new to the mix, then I thought about it more and realised there is always more to unpack when it comes to non-monogamy.

“Compersion: A feeling of joy when a partner invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.”

Continue reading “[Life] Compersion, Trust and Brain Niggles”